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3:37am on Wednesday the 22nd of May
BIG FAT JON FAVREAU SPURTS OUT BABY GIRL
Actor, screenwriter and director Jon Favreau and his physician wife Joya Tillem have welcomed their third child, daughter Brighton Rose Favreau, the actor's rep confirmed to PEOPLE.
PEOPLE digg this
TONY DANIEL'S 8 THINGS TO DO TO KEEP FROM BLOGGING ABOUT BEING A NEW FATHER

1. Masturbate to old high school yearbook. Not the girls, the yearbook
itself.

2. Go outside and kill ants. Avoid the rickety but homey swing set you
built. Use diesel fuel on the ants and then pull the survivors' legs off.

3. When bottle washing, pretend nipples are cast-offs from old lady
movie stars. Touch yourself.

4. Prepare formula in lines. Sniff a couple before making up bottle.

5. Buy a vintage Corvette and drive around with your seatbelt unbuckled
for a day. When urge to write essay about kids bringing on your midlife crisis reaches maximum intensity, drive into oncoming traffic - killing yourself, and hopefully a few assholes just like you.

6. Brag about how hot your daughter will be when she's 16.

7. Brag about how hot your son will be when he's 12.

8. Read a couple of "new dad" blogs. HINT: to slit wrists, cut
long-ways.
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