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2:03pm on Thursday the 20th of June
THURSDAY'S GREGALOGUE: The Consequences of Chicken Little

So, I'm wearing pants, which means another Rasmussen Poll has arrived. And - to echo every single hack editorial writer - it's bound to cause a "chilling effect" among whatever needs chilling.

According to the poll, 65 percent of Americans say they won't make major lifestyle changes to help the environment.

These findings, of course, will be filed under "idiot America" by our greenies stateside, and those abroad.

Yep - It's just another example of how selfish and short-sighted we dumbass Yanks really are. Screw the earth. All we care about is our monstrous SUV's, our Play Stations, and of course, our vintage collection of shrunken spotted owl heads.

I have 58.

So when not frenching Hugo Chavez, Sean Penn will shake his head ruefully. Al Gore will sob quietly in his air conditioned silo made of coffee table books. Tim Robbins will try to suffocate himself in a biodegradable, but reusable shopping bag.

Hooray, I say - because these freaks are wrong. The reason why Americans are less likely to make said changes isn't because they don't care about the earth - it's that they just don't care for the propagandists who browbeated them into caring about the earth.

So whose fault is that? Well, it's Gore's, and every single manmade global warming apostle out there. By abandoning reasoned debate found in just about every major scientific arena, and instead embracing media friendly, self righteous hysteria - they became a noxious mixture of Chicken Little and Mrs. Kravitz.

You know, from Bewitched.

And of course, they got cocky and fudged their data.

Fact is, most Americans do care about the earth, but they can smell BS a mile away.

And yeah, I'm referring to Barbra Streisand.

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a racist homophobe who pours milk on starving kittens in hopes of enticing them to cannabalism.

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