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11:19pm on Thursday the 15th of November
MONDAY'S GREGALOGUE: DEBATE POSTMORTEM!

Like all of you, I watched the debates. But unlike you, I watched it nude with a cowbell around my neck. What can I say: It was a theme party and the houseboys enjoy rides.

But the thing that troubled me most happened at the end of the debate - when Jim Lehrer asked if there would be another 9/11. Obviously, this is a dumb question. I mean - what terrorist would try another attack on the very same date? I`d at least pick something like 9/12 which is my birthday. An attack would catch millions of my celebrating fans off guard.

But what bugged me was Obama`s response. After both candidates pretty much agreed that we`re safer now than we were before (an acknowledgment that pats Bush on the back and refutes any argument Obama had about the Iraq War making our lives less safer) Obama returns to the post-modern, cocktail-party theme of "root causes." Obama brings up how "we" are perceived in the world, and how that might influence terrorist acts. "We are less respected now," he says which, in my feeble mind, betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the world. Terrorists will not stop blowing you up, because they "respect" you. Terrorists will not stop killing innocent people because they "like" you. They want to kill you, because you are NOT THEM. If anything, they leave you alone - if you kill them. That last question revealed Obama's true weakness: a fear of identifying real evil because such behavior is unseemly. His old professors would shake their heads in disgust if they heard that kind of objective truth. Then they`d go back to wetting their pants.

See, it bothers me that Obama cares more about how our enemies perceive us, than what these enemies want to do to us. The greatest leaders of our time could care less about who liked them.

I am speaking of course, about Sonny Bono.

But it all goes back to the simple question that needs to be asked of Barack: who`s really responsible for 9/11 Islamic terrorists or the US? If he can answer that question with a simple sentence, he might get somewhere with me.

Perhaps even second base but no promises. I like to play to hard to get.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

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