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7:52pm on Sunday the 22nd of July
RED EYE RESTORED INTERNATIONALLY!

FINALLY, A VICTORY AGAINST STUPIDITY HERE AND ABROAD!

AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, LAST WEEK NO ONE OUTSIDE THE U-S COULD WATCH RED EYE - NOT EVEN THE POOR FOLKS AT GITMO.

WE HAD NO IDEA THIS HAD OCCURRED, BUT THANKS TO THOSE OF YOU WHO WROTE IN , I WAS ABLE TO TRACK DOWN THOSE RESPONSIBLE AND GIVE THEM A SWIFT KICK IN THEIR FAT ASSES. AND I'VE NEVER FELT SO AROUSED.

NOW I CAN ANNOUNCE THAT TOGETHER, WE HAVE DEFEATED THE HUMORLESS EVIL CORPORATE TITANS!
AS OF TONIGHT, RED EYE CAN ONCE AGAIN BE SEEN ALL ACROSS THIS GREAT PLANET OF OURS!

THIS IS A VICTORY FOR ALL OF YOU WHO LOVE AND WATCH REDEYE, AND A PUNCH IN THE NUTS FOR ALL THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW THE TRUE PLEASURES OF VERMONT MEDICATED BAG BALM.

BUT I LEARNED SOMETHING VERY VALUABLE FROM THIS BATTLE. IN ORDER TO WIN, WE - MEANING THE BROADCASTERS - NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU, THE VIEWERS.

SO INTERNATIONAL FANS - WRITE IN AND TELL YOUR STATION OPERATORS HOW GLAD YOU ARE THAT REDEYE'S BACK ON.

AND FOR YOU PATRIOTIC AMERICANS, YOU NEED TO LET YOUR VOICES BE HEARD ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THIS SHOW.

THE CHALLENGE FOR A SHOW WITH THIS TIME SLOT IS THAT THE ONLY WAY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT IS IF YOU SPREAD THE WORD. AND POSSIBLY SEND ME NAKED PICTURES. BUT THAT'S OPTIONAL, IF PREFERRED.

SO START NOW!

DAILYGUT.COM digg this

sorry for the caps. pulled it from my script and too lazy to retype.

gotta great show tonight: rick reichmuth (fox news meteorologist), Julie Banderas, Amanda Carpenter and the guys who created the amazing Planet Unicorn!

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