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7:54pm on Sunday the 22nd of July
TUESDAY'S GREGALOGUE: STOP-LOSS

So the new anti-war film Stop-Loss took in about twelve bucks on it's opening weekend. I haven't seen it - as you know my weekends are jammed with massage therapy and community service. But I know it's a movie about a soldier whose service is involuntarily extended in a war that's unpopular among people who eat at Spago.

And it does what Hollywood does best: be predictable. I mean, this is not a movie about a soldier who wants to fight. That reeks of patriotism, which kills your chances of Tim Robbins, or his mom Susan, talking to you at a cocktail party.


So whose fault is it for the film's failure? According to someone at Paramount: "It's a function of the marketplace not being ready to address this conflict in a dramatic way because the war itself is something that's unresolved yet." Meaning, Paramount already thinks the war is lost. But because you don't, you're too dumb to enjoy the picture.


You gotta admire that gumption: it's the audiences fault when a picture doesn't connect. However, when Paris Hilton's film flopped, you didn't hear that kind of assessment.

Look - we don't need war movies to remind us that war is bad - we know that. Plus, mainstream media is already doing a bang up job ramming home that idea - even to the point of ignoring good or encouraging news about the conflict.

But I guess what bothers me most about the flick is being lectured by people who are fundamentally more flawed than the rest of us. Really, is the act of stop-loss worse, on a personal level, than cheating on your wife and mother of your two kids - with your saucy little costar? I'd ask Ryan Philippe that, but I'm already over him. He's no Orlando Bloom.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

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Tonight we've got the lovely Anna Gilligan, the very funny and smart Janine Driver, the always perceptive Ali Nejad, and Joe Escalante from the Vandals! Yippee!
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