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12:31pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
THURSDAY'S GREGALOGUE: THE "BRANDING" OF OBAMA

So I made the mistake of reading a copy of Fast Company, which had a stroke piece in it entitled "The Brand Called Obama." There the writer says that Obama is more than just a politician, he's a brand - one that stokes aspirations, moves people to evangelize and consume - just like other big brands. Immediately, I thought of Renuzit or Depends - two brands I happen to use on my days off.

Anyway, I thought branding people went out with slavery. And the fact that Fast Company sees fit to Brand Obama, seems kinda dumb. If there's a poison in our discourse today, its marketers tossing around the word "branding" like a cheap houseboy. The word "brand" is so overused, it's essentially meaningless. Paris Hilton apparently considers herself a brand, kind of like Valtrex in reverse.

But Barack is just a man, not a brand. Do you know what a brand is? It's a product - McDonalds, Coca Cola, Gutfeld's homemade shorty robes - which you can get for 14 dollars at Gutfeldhomemadeshortyrobes.com. Fact is, if you aspire to be a brand like Black and Decker, you're probably a tool. So you're almost there. But just because you want to be a commodity doesn't mean we're going to consume. Believe me, after months of leaving my ad up on Craigslist, I realized not everyone buys in to the Gutbrand. I never should have posted photos of my birthmark.

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Tonight's guests: Judge Andrew Napolitano, Rebecca Gomez, comedian Geno Bisconte, Paula Nelson (that's Willie's daughter, also a singer), and my mom!

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