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9:05am on Friday the 6th of December
TUESDAY'S GREGALOGUE: MCGREEVY

In yet more proof that politicians are totally awesome, ex-New Jersey governor and middle-aged underwear model Jim McGreevey claims he had a threesome with his wife and a male aide. They would meet at an upscale restaurant known as Fridays, and then engage in what they called "Friday Night Specials" - a "Three For All" that sadly did not feature loaded potato skins, fried mozzarella and spicy buffalo wings.

This profoundly important news needed to be told because Jim was upset that Dina was making the rounds on talk shows yakking about Spitzers sex scandal. As you know, she's now an expert, after her freaky husband resigned in 2004 after poking a male staffer. Now, that she's surfaced to slam her ex-hubby, he couldn't bear her getting the attention that he still craves. Of course, Dina denies this threesome. But Jim tries to rise above this, saying " We need to move on with our lives."

I agree - if by moving on, he means into oncoming traffic.

See, we need to reintroduce shame into our culture - but tie it to action. As a unified group, we must turn our backs on these tawdry tools - and focus more on things we can truly appreciate, like unicorns and unicorn-themed restaurants..

More important, however - is if you're going to have an affair, don't bring Fridays into the mix. You soil the beauty that is the red and white striped awning, those delightful brass rails and the attitude of the upbeat employees. FYI: their new Portobello mushroom sandwich is to die for.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Applebees.

DALYGUT.COM digg this
tonight we've got Lauren Green, Andrew WK, Sabina Gadecki and comedian Doug Benson.
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