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9:10am on Friday the 6th of December
wednesday's gregalogue: hookers vs girlfriends

This whole Spitzer thing got me thinking - if you're married and you're caught with a girlfriend or a hooker, which is worse?

Look, I realize the uproar over Spitzer makes sense - he's a hypocritical gasbag who deserves everything he gets. But the media isn't far behind, for somehow they feel that paying for sex is far worse than getting it for free.


Many married politicians get away with flings - usually with staffers, pudgy interns, third-rate actresses, cantaloupes. And in places like France, you'd be seen as freakish if you didn't have at least three mistresses - one being a goat.

But I wonder if we really have this backwards. The fact is, using a hooker is a business deal, with no emotional strings. Meanwhile, developing a relationship with a coworker - or even a houseboy named Roberto with amazing delts- signifies a deeper breach of the marital bond. Seeing a hooker is wrong if you're married, but cheating with someone you actually like, seems far worse. Fact is, going to a hooker is like hitting the drive through because you're hungry. Except instead of a happy meal, it's a happy ending. Nothing more, nothing less - just a craving.

But having a mistress is actually a crueler, meaner kind of trick. And one that hurts everyone involved. Which is why now, I'm telling you Roberto, it's over. Pack up your love cage, the ropes, the spandex catsuit and leave. But don't take the Debillitator. That was mine when we met, and it's not like you ever cleaned it anyway.

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