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9:09am on Friday the 6th of December
THURSDAY'S GREGALOGUE: HAPPY FACES

Take a look at what might be the greatest pictures I think you'll see all hour. In an effort to foil the predilections of pedophiles, a primary school in England has covered up the faces of pupils on it's website, using the bland but equally arousing likeness of the "happy face."

The headmistress at Cann Hall Primary School in Clacton, Essex thought that because the internet is a public place, it was their duty to protect the kids - so all the faces were covered, including action shots at sporting events - which I happen to be an expert on.

Were they right to be cautious? By seeing the world through the eyes of a pedophiles, some overly paranoid adults are actually doing more harm than good. For example, there might be a whole new group of perverts who actually prefer to look at children with cartoon happy faces for heads. And, now we have played into their grimy, disgusting hands.

And what`s the point of taking pictures of your very own kids if you can`t see their faces? Without their heads, you can`t tell children apart. Not that I have ever tested that hypothesis, of course!

Apparently the pictures have now been taken down - and who knows if they were real to begin with - but some still wonder what kind of message we send to kids if we feel that images of their past are more important than blocking the needs of perverts? I think they should have kept the smily faces on. Because when these kids become adults - they'll look back at those pictures and think - "Wow, I was a really happy child."

And that can't be bad, can it?


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