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1:45pm on Thursday the 20th of June
SPLASH SPLISH, I WAS GETTIN' MY FIX
Tired of waking up and having to wait for your morning java to brew? Are you one of those groggy early morning types that just needs that extra kick? Know any programmers who don't regularly bathe and need some special motivation? Introducing Shower Shock, the original and world's first caffeinated soap from ThinkGeek...

Scented with peppermint oil and infused with caffeine anhydrous, each bar of Shower Shock contains approximately 12 servings/showers per 4 ounce bar, with 200 milligrams of caffeine per serving. No, we're not kidding, and no, you don't eat it. The caffeine is absorbed through the skin...
ThinkGeek digg this
I am posting this not to provide free advertising for ThinkGeek, but to make a vague and futile legal threat. For you see: Shower Shock was the name of one of my inventions! It was a toaster for extremely depressed people. But it turns out the toaster was already "patented," "a century ago," "you idiot." They said writing SHOWER SHOCK on the side with a Sharpie wasn't really an "invention." Whatever... I've never really been a details person, you know?

Joke I didn't think of until a day later: Oddly enough, whenever I draw myself a bath, I always leave room for cream!

Update: The previous update was missing just now, so I put it back. Something really weird is going on with this posting software, and I have no idea how to fix it.
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