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11:09pm on Thursday the 18th of April
VH + DLR = DOA
It looks like David Lee Roth's first tour with Van Halen in twenty-three years won't happen, after all. Over the weekend, employees of tour promoters Live Nation were informed that "the Van Halen tour has been shut down." It's not yet clear what went wrong: Just last week, the band released their first official photo of their new line-up to Rolling Stone. At the time, Roth told us that he was thrilled about the tour, and that the reunion could be permanent: "I have hope and faith and that's more than just the name of a couple of strippers from Albuquerque," he said.
Rolling Stone digg this
You know what happened, right? The Van Halen brothers had forgotten how funny Dave is. They'd be trying to rehearse, and he'd crack everybody up so bad the whole time that they could never get anything done. That's why he got kicked off radio too, because all the listeners were so paralyzed with laughter that the economy basically just stopped. People were losing control of their vehicles, clutching at their own sides and veering into lakes and bridge abutments and such. Something had to be done. Whereas the only funny things to come out of Eddie's mouth are black, infected teeth.
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