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5:35am on Sunday the 16th of June
MAN ADDICTED TO PORN, BLAMES VIETNAM
A man who was fired by IBM for visiting an adult chat room at work is suing the company for $5 million, claiming he is an Internet addict who deserves treatment and sympathy rather than dismissal.James Pacenza, 58, of Montgomery, says he visits chat rooms to treat traumatic stress incurred in 1969 when he saw his best friend killed during an Army patrol in Vietnam.

In papers filed in federal court in White Plains, Pacenza said the stress caused him to become "a sex addict, and with the development of the Internet, an Internet addict." He claimed protection under the American with Disabilities Act.

cnn.com digg this

This man is officially the greatest person on the planet. Think about it: Anyone who can blame porn addiction on a war that took place four decades ago not only deserves our sympathy, but whatever money he thinks he's entitled to because of his suffering. I, for one, was only a few years old when Vietnam occured, but I can safely say it has scarred me sufficiently enough that I have little or no choice but to peruse handbooks on Japanese rope bondage for hours. Watergate did not help, of course. I was only nine at the time, still I remember it as though it were yesterday. And this no doubt explains why I find myself sitting in a cupboard most of the time, fondling a homemade bubble-wrap dildo. And then of course, there was the Challenger accident. I blame that for me getting arrested at Vista point last night wearing nothing but an erotic tickler. I'm still recovering. Really.

See you all tonight!

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