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11:26am on Sunday the 22nd of September
UNDERWEAR THIEVES TARGETED IN LATEST ATTACK ON PEOPLE WHO STEAL UNDERWEAR
Thieves who steal underwear from washing lines will be placed on the Sex Offender Register, the Government has said.

In a move likely to lead to a huge increase in the number of registered offenders, stalking and child kidnap will also earn a place on the danger list.
DAILY MAIL digg this
Should you place people who steal underwear on the same sex offender list as people who steal children? I don't think so. I mean, it's not like the underwear you steal will cause any real lasting damage to the underwear. And that makes it a dramatically different sort of crime, from say, stealing a child.

Now, if the underwear you steal is being worn at the time by an individual- like say a baker or traffic warden - then that's another story.
(I learned that the hard way, sadly).

I also feel that if you happen to steal underwear, and then return it when you are "done" with it - or perhaps donate it to people who need briefs (the poor, the incontinent, Ms. Spears), then you should not be punished at all.

In fact, there may be an argument for awarding those who steal underwear from clotheslines with cash or a special trophy. It's a common fact that wildlife has become greatly affected by underwear that's been suspended in their line of flight. In Kent suburbs, for example, it's been shown that panties, briefs and thongs, if not fastened properly, can cause birds and even flying squirrels to become trapped or strangled. "Nude" or clear panties are the worst - since they are virtually invisible to birds too focused on retrieving worms and berries. More than 50 species of birds are known to ingest cotton panties, and adult birds even feed the elastic to their young. This causes them to feel full, so they quickly die of starvation. Rumor has it that this is also happening to Nicole Ritchie.

So, by stealing underwear - preferably lacy thongs and crotchless panties - from clotheslines, you are doing your part to preserve our precious wildlife. And for that I salute you.

And, I am up for exchanges/trades.
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