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1:50pm on Thursday the 20th of June
NEW SERIAL KILLER EMERGES IN UK (JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS)
THE bodies of two more victims of the Suffolk Ripper were found yesterday - taking the monster's grim tally to FIVE.
The dead girls are thought to be missing Ipswich hookers Annette Nicholls, 29, and Paula Clennell, 24.

Shaken cops described the shocking speed at which the fiend is claiming his victims as "unprecedented".

He has murdered the five prostitutes - all were heroin addicts and three were mothers - in less than six weeks.
the sun digg this
Some observations:
-the way the British authorities are handling this case is slightly comical - given the horror of it all - when they come on television to say things like, "if you are the killer, please contact us. You have a serious problem. We can deal with this together." It's like they're pleading with a cat to come down from a tree. When I heard that on Sky News last night, I almost fell out of my cage (thank God I was tethered to the radiator).

-Every time a serial killer emerges in England, they call him the Ripper. Jack the Ripper, the Yorkshire Ripper, now the Suffolk Ripper. They need to come up with a new name. I have a suggestion. All the dead girls, so far, have been missing Ipswich hookers. Ipswich - whenever i hear that word, I think of those chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches I used to buy as a kid. Chipswiches! Those were great. Maybe this guy should be called the Chipswich killer - turning hookers into fiendish roadside sandwiches. or something like that. I'll keep thinking. But the real problem with the overuse of the phrase "ripper," is that it begs comparisons to the past - which only eggs on the present-day killer. For example, in the Sun article, you'll find that when compared to the Suffolk fiend, "it took Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe SIX YEARS to kill the first five of his 13 victims. And his reign of terror in the 1970s and 1980s spanned a total of 11 years." In a way, the press is turning this into an X-Factor for maniacs. Where is Simon Cowell for comment? He might say: "Look look look, it's clear that the public loves you...but I find your performance barely passable - you just have no range." (this comment should be followed by a chorus of boos and some heckling).

In England, the press and the public love serial killers. According to my friend Kevin, who used to kill people, he says Brits like these stories because "we always catch the killer and we are a nation of fox hunters! The hunt is now on, and we like the chase!" But there's another part to this fascination - and it's something you don't see in America, because the UK is so much smaller. Says my friend Dave, who is already drunk: "We embrace our serial killers because we all think we might know him, or know someone who knows him, or maybe even know someone who knows someone who knows him or a victim! That's exciting!" The Uk is so small, having a killer in your midst really means something - he could be your dad or your brother! "If you lived in San Mateo California," Dave tells me, "and the killings were happening in Milwaukee, would you care? You've probably never been to Milwaukee. But I've been to Ipswich, where all the murders took place!" I asked Dave when he'd been to Ipswich, and he became very nervous, and left my bedsit. I noticed he had a large bag of tools with him and he smelled of peat moss. This is all probably a coincidence.


-I also have a problem with the willingness of police psychologists to voice theories in the press about the killer. Does the public really need to know that "the maniac may get kicks from sitting and TALKING to the dead women as it is the only way he can "control" them?" Okay, I suppose I might get a kick from it. But maybe that's just me. One question: is talking to dead women illegal, if you didn't kill them? I need to know this before I go on vacation.
The worst shrink was a Dr Wilson, who said: "The killer seems to have embarked on a rampage - a kind of pre-Christmas spree."
Thing is, I had no idea that serial killers actually plan their killings around the holidays. But i suppose, like buying presents, it's always good never to wait until the last minute.

Here again, Wilson puts the killer in perspective, comparing him to a predecessor: "He is killing at a much faster rate than Peter Sutcliffe did, possibly because he ....wants to pack in as much excitement as possible. He is not cooling off. His campaign is heating up." Campaign? For what... is he running for class president?

We, meaning the public, love this stuff - because it's exciting and because the victims fit perfectly into a crime spree you can enjoy without feeling too guilty. They're drug-addled hookers - not school kids. No one cares about hookers. Which brings me to my next observation...

-I didn't realize street walkers still existed. I assumed that all whoring is done either through escort ads or mobile texting and so on. In my neighborhood, for example, i have never seen a hooker, but I know for a fact there are more than a handful of bordellos in a square block radius. I only know this because they have been pointed out to me by locals. I have actually never entered one. Unless, of course, it was by accident. (I am legally blind, after all, and on occasion I have wandered into private homes thinking they were sandwich shops. Thankfully, the homeowners always made me a sandwich and sent me on my way).

-the authorities are asking all prostitutes to stay off the street to reduce their risk of death - but if prostitutes cared about that, they wouldn't be on the streets to begin with. All of the UK's streetwalkers are heroin addicts, and have put their addiction far above everything else as a priority. Rape, beatings, obese executives who work for Verizon - these are risks they're already willing to take. the sad thing - is even when loads of camera crews showed up on streets in Ipswich last night, the few hookers there were still working, despite being filmed. Worse, a lot of the customers still showed up, as the cameras rolled.

Not me. I turned and ran!

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