12:33pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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By dustrider
Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Schindler's List", if by "Schindler's' you mean 'Craig's'.

...and he's a word nerd who gets flipped the bird, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.

By DarkUrthe
S.E. Cupp if hotness were a desert, thirsty men would ask for an SE Cupp... wait that makes no sense.

Jesse Joyce funnier than a sword wielding clown behaeding a mime and screaming there can be only funny

Isiah Mustapha he knows Olds Spice like I know body lice.
By Poland
Jesse Joyce, if comedic genius were chalkboard erasers, I'd bang him outside between classes.

By Balrog28
S.E.Cupp - she's so sultry I wouldn't mind considering adultery
By AUTiger89
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like His Girl Friday, if by Friday you mean Bill.

S.E. Cupp, if beauty and brains were a steak, cooks would slap her, on a grill, until she was done.
By valleysam
Welcome to Redeye - It's like Whatever Happened to Baby Jane; if by Baby Jane, you mean my last 3 houseboys.

Bill Schulz - In Thailand, he's considered an entree.

S.E. Cupp - She's so hot, the leg chair is now called the S.E. Cupp chair.

Jesse Joyce - If comic genius were a noisemaker, kids would blow him at birthday parties.
By Meatwad
Welcome to red eye, it's like a great big hug if by hug you mean punch in the crotch
By Craigonomics
Welcome to Red Eye - it's like Poseidon Adventure if by Poseidon you mean Slave Boy.
By azideam
S.E. Cupp; if charm and grace were a wagon wheel, brave pioneers would ride her across America.

Jesse Joyce; he knows quick retorts like I know satin shorts. They go well with my tube socks and roller skates.
By Remman
Jesse Joyce, if comic genius were smores, he'd make my mouth warm and sticky.

S.E. Cupp, she's so hot, the Rod Stewart song "Hot Legs" is now called S.E. Cupp legs.

Isiah Mustapha, if chiseled abs were a didgeridoo, Australians would blow him at music festivals.

Welcome to Red Eye it's like The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, if by Fathoms you mean Percocet.

By azideam
Isiah Mustapha; he knows selling fragrances like I smell fragrant. It's part of one's good grooming habits, and can also be used as a locator device.
By azideam
Bill Schulz... he moonlights as a sad clown.

By DarkUrthe
Welcome to Red Eye its like Two Close For Comfort with a more sexually ambiguous side kick.

Bill Schulz, dogs won't even play poker with him.
By H1.N(one)
Welcome to Red Eye, its like The Secret World of Alex Mac, if by Alex Mac you mean percocet.

S.E. Cupp, she's so hot, Earth's new nickname is the third rock from the S.E. Cupp.

Jesse Joyce, if comedic genius were a gavel, judges would bang him at the end of each case.

Isiah Mustapha, he knows odor protection like I know natural selection... Why is Bill still around?

speaking of... ...
By H1.N(one)
my repulsive sidekick Bill Schulz, thanks to him, the suicide hotline now screens their calls.

And his stories ain't stopping, though his readership is dropping, its that dirty New York Times correspondent Pinch.
By Jersey Dave
Isiah Mustafa - He's so smooth that instead of Nair, women now put Isiah Mustafa on their legs.

S.E. Cupp - Her comments are so deep that many Submarine sailors dream of diving into her.

Jesse Joyce - He's funnier than 50 comedy writers driving off a cliff in a clown car, and landing in a pit full of Hyenas. Poor hyenas!

By Belize042
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea," if by Sea you mean Percocet bottle.

S.E. Cupp, if brains and beauty were ice cream and chocolate, all she'd be missing is whipped cream. I'll bring it.

Jesse Joyce, he splits sides like I split rides. Last week I car-pooled with a hobo.

Bill Schulz, in Angola he's a cash crop.
By Fitzer
Isaiah Mustafa - If a cup was Isaiah Mustafa, baseball players would use him to cradle their balls.
By underdog
Welcome to Redeye - It's like facebook, if by book, you mean down.

OMG - SE Cupp! My prayers have been answered!

She so immaculate, prayers are often directed to SE Cupp.

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