12:12pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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By dustrider
Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Some Like It Hot", if by 'hot' you mean 'back there'.

...and he hates the Wall Street Journal and his stock's in the Wall Street urinal, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.

By Remman
Bill Schulz, in Chelsea he moonlights as a mayonnaise dispenser.

Faith Salie, She's so hot the phrase "too hot handle" is now "too Faith Salie to handle."

Imogen Lloyd Webber, if dating advice were a book case, I'd put my hard covers in her.

Larry Gatlin, if musical genius were a square dance, I'd do a jig in his circle.

By Balrog28
Welcome to RedEye, it's like Welcome to the Jungle, if by jungle you mean a cesspool full of brain-farts.
By sodomyonsunday
Welcome to Redeye, it's like The Bold and the Beautiful...if by beautiful you mean barbiturates
By AUTiger89
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like High Plains Drifter, if by Plains you mean Meth and by Drifter you mean Dealer.
By underdog
Welcome to Redeye - It's like Happy Days, if by Days, you mean Pill.

Jack Garcia knows the law like I know limp and small - I'm just a little cold, people.
By valleysam
Bill Schulz - Homeless people give him their spare change.
By azideam
Faith Salie; she's so insightful, fortune cookies are now called Faith Salie Cookies.

Imogen Lloyd Webber; if sexy accents were a cab, I'd wave and holler until she gave me a ride.
By azideam
or a lift.
By azideam
Bill Schulz... if you pot him, he's a Chia Pet
By Jersey Dave
Imogen Lloyd Webber: She's sweeter than Strawberry Shortcake riding over the rainbow on My Little Pony.

Jack Garcia: He knows busting creeps like Tiger Woods' girlfriends know dating one.

Faith Salie: She knows personal codes like I know picking my nose. It tastes like chicken, people.

Bill Schulz: He's the E to my Tickets, the Fence to my Pickets, and the Crotch to my Crickets.
By azideam
Larry Gatlin; he knows musical hits, like I know musical foods!

Jack Garcia; if fighting crime were a cigar, he'd leave a funny taste in my mouth the next morning.
By Craigonomics
Garcia, he's so undercover, criminals ask if they can borrow his fake moustache.
By TulsaTornado
Welcome to Red eye, it's just like CSI, if by CSI, you mean STD..

Faith Salie, she's so hot, her carbon footprint can be seen by the naked eye..

Imogen Lloyd Webber, she so cute, Hello Kitties wear Imogen Lloyd Webber underwear..

Larry Gatlin, he knows country hits & songs like hippies know using pipes & bongs...& that's quite well, people..
By TulsaTornado
Bill Schulz, he's wearing cardboard shoes..
By DarkUrthe
Faith Salie, she is so hot that Carrot Top uses her to tan.

Imogen Lloyd Webber if beauty were sardines, I would feed her to Andy's cats

Larry Gatlin if music were a banjo, half the state of West Virginia would pluck him.

Jack Garcia he knows cops like I know flops, I was in Glitter people.

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