12:29pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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Fresh from the DAILYGUT.COM


By Uncle Jesse
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Perfect Strangers if by Perfect you mean Accommodating
By Uncle Jesse
Jim Florentine, if hilarity were a port of entry, desperate foreigners would enter him daily.
By Balrog28
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Bosom Buddies, without the friendship
By underdog
Welcome to Redeye, it's like Three Men and a Baby, if by Baby, you mean Safeword.
By dustrider
Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Guys and Dolls", if by 'dolls' you mean 'lots more guys'.

...and he tries to act pious but can't hide his bias, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.
By underdog
There's rubbish on every page and he's best used in a bird cage, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch. What say you, talking paper?
By azideam
Jim Florentine; if hilarity were a cap pistol, much to his frustration, he'd shoot blanks all day.

Sandra Smith; she's so hot, microwave ovens are now called Sandra Smith Ovens.
By DarkUrthe
Jim Florentine he knows crank yanking like I know, yanking. I should not have installed a belfry in my apartment.

Tara Palmeri she knows juicy gossip like I know juicy fruit. I loves me gum peeps.

Sandra Smith if brains and beauty were a jetpack, stuntmen would ride her for upwards of 30 seconds.
By TulsaTornado
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Dancing With the Stars, if by Stars, you mean Hobos..

Sandra Smith, she's so hot, the Dow's not the only thing that rises whenever she walks down Wall Street..

Jim Florentine, he's funnier than drunken clown having a weenie roast over a bed of coals made from the bones of freshly slaughtered smurfs..

Bill Schulz, he reeks of old cough syrup & tuna fish..
By azideam
Tara Palmeri; she knows the dish, like I know Fish. I'm president of the Abe Vigoda fan club.
By azideam
Bill Schulz; he's the WoMan With No Name
By Craigonomics
Talk about FROLF on Hannity!
By Remman
Jim Florentine, if comic genius were a beer boot, German men would pass him around the table.

Tara Palmeri, if insider news were an ice cream sundae I'd put my nuts on her.

Sandra Smith, if business acumen were a tooth ache I'd drill her in a dentist office.
By Jersey Dave
Sandra Smith she knows stocks and bonds like I know being put into them.
By Crawlinkingsnake
Tera Palmeri, shes so hot Fahrenheit changed its name to Fahren Palmeri.

Bill Shultz, his perineum is mysterium.

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