12:30pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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Fresh from the DAILYGUT.COM


By AUTiger89
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like The Last Picture Show, if by picture you mean donkey.
By Icebreaker
Imogen Lloyd Webber...she's so hot Hot Pockets are suing her for copyright infringement.

By Icebreaker
Bill Schulz: the Indecent Exposure charges were dropped due to...wait for it...lack of evidence

Bill Schulz... is commonly mistaken in Scotland for a plate of haggis.
By dustrider
Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "A League of Their Own," if by 'league' you mean 'cage'.

...and he reviews plays and tunes with a staff full of loons, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.

By valleysam
Welcome to Redeye - It's like Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee; if by heart, you mean census taker.

Imogen Lloyd Webber - She's so hot, conspiracy theorists blame her for the Hindenberg disaster.

Bill Schulz - His refrigerator box was repossessed by the IRS.
By azideam
How dare you insult a plate of haggis!
By azideam
Rick Folbaum; he knows a good scoop, like I know a tall stoop. I can't help my dimunitive stature at the table!

Imogen Lloyd Webber; if sultriness were Sunday comics, I'd entertain myself with her on the floor, near a sunny window.
By azideam
He's the rim to my Brim, the vigor to my vim, the Pete's to my dragon, the paint to my red wagon...

Bill Schulz... he sells his dandruff to China for making snow-globes.
By azideam
Mark Douglas; if hilarity were a Magic 8 Ball, I'd shake his orb until he gave me the right answer.
By Jersey Dave
Imogen Lloyd Webber: She knows Big Ben, like I know big men.
By Jersey Dave
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like the Hunt for Red October, if by October you mean tampons.
By DarkUrthe
Rick Folbaum he knows journalism like I know journals. What can I say Are You there God It's Me Margaret inspired my writing

Imogen Lloyd Webber if beauty were the SATs, many high school students would try to do her to get into college

Mark Douglas funnier than a mime stuffed into a clown stuffed into a minstral... or at thanksgiving what I like to call a mownstral.
By DarkUrthe
Welcome to Red Eye, its like The Last Waltz... but more literally for those houseboys.

Bill Schulz, he gets by on selling plasma and dumpster diving.
By Brody McBrohiem
Imogen - If sexiness were a bungy jump, men would scream like little girls while doing her

Rick - If intrepid reporting were a Harely, men would form clubs just to ride him
By TulsaTornado
Welcome to Red Eye, it's just like Countdown, but without the high heels & girlish giggling..

Imogen Lloyd Webber, she's so hot, she can turn a swimming pool into a hot tub by just dipping her toe in it..

Rick Folbaum, he knows news reporting like I know powder snorting..

Bill Schulz, he's known as 'Ms Pearl Drops' in the online gaming world..
By BradinCalifornia
Imogen Lloyd Webber, she's so hot that thermite handles her with extreme caution.
By underdog
We need more S.E. Cupp. She's so hot, the sun can't look directly at her.

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