9:03pm on Tuesday the 23rd of July
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Fresh from the dailygut.com

tuesday's guests!

 
By AUTiger89
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Clash of the Titans, if by Titans you mean houseboys.



Joe DeVito, if hilarity were a cradle, mothers would rock him to get their babies to sleep.
By Brody McBrohiem
Joe Devito - If charm were a breath mint, I would suck on him after dinner
By Poland
Joe DeVito, if hilarity were Life Alert, I'd finger him with C. Everett Koop

" " I'd finger him until an ambulance came.



Mike Estes, he knows treble like I know Trouble. Pop! It's my favorite board game.
By valleysam
Welcome to Redeye - It's like Dude, Where's My Car? If by car, you mean fluffy cuffs.



They're delightful, debonaire, do everything with a bit of flair; but enough about the Federal Trade Commission...



Bill Schulz - He sleeps in his storage facility.
By dustrider
Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Being John Malkovich", if by 'Malkovich' you mean 'Wayne Gacy'.

...and he can't earn a buck because he's such a schmuck, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.
By azideam
Amy Schumer; she knows a good line, like I know a good line. Are we talking about the same thing?



Joe DeVito; if hilarity were an innertube, grown men would jump into him and splash about.

Thad McCotter; he knows the Fed, like I know the bed. I love my adjustable air mattress!
By azideam
Bill Schulz... his hair doubles as a Brillo pad.
By TulsaTornado
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like "The Big Easy", if by 'Big Easy', you mean Keith Olbermann's nickname..

Amy Schumer, she's so bright, when lightbulbs get an idea, they have a picture of her over their heads..

Joe DeVito, he's funnier than a deranged mime gunning down a group of pacifist smurfs..

Rep McCotter, he knows passing bills like I know getting chills..
By Jersey Dave
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Dances with Wolves, if by Wolves you mean Montezuma's Revenge.



Any Schumer: Her wit is so sharp, switch blades are now called Schumer Blades.



Joe DeVito: If deep comedic talent were the Gulf of Mexico, rough necked men would drill him every day.



By TulsaTornado
Bill Schulz, he's considered a family pet in 38 states..
By Jersey Dave
Congressman Thaddeus McCotter: He knows harcore Conservatism like I know hardcore.. um.. something. be quiet Bill!



Mike Estes: He knows musical strains like I know Keith Olbermann's brains. I know, I had less area to cover there. But still.



Pinch: He's losing money, like Jesse James is losing his honey.
By Jersey Dave
Bill Schulz: Well, he's the Band to my Aid, the Air to my Raid and the Un to my Paid. It's my disturbing co host Bill Schulz.
 
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