12:30pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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Fresh from the DAILYGUT.COM


By dustrider
Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Amazon Women on the Moon", if by 'moon' you mean 'bed'.

...and his bias is showing and his sales are slowing, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.
By Cheesy Potatoes
Greg we need to see these people on RedEye:

Gavin McLeod,

Eric Idle,

Harold Ramis,

Anson Williams and Donnie Most,

C'mon Greg make it happen!
By valleysam
Welcome to Redeye; it's like Precilla Queen of the Desert; if my Precilla, you mean Bill.

They're charming, delightful, and always insightful; but enough about the Teamsters Union ...
By valleysam
Bill Schulz - His refrigerator box has a mason jar for indoor plumbing.

Mark Lamont Hill - Rival professors leave flaming bags of dog poop on his porch out of sheer jealousy.

Dr. Baden - He knows cadaver dissection, like I know ghonorrea infections.
By valleysam
Alison Rosen - She's so cute, Justin Beiber has taken a hit out on her.
By Brody McBrohiem
Dr. Hill - If identity politics were a stamp, I would lick him until he got sticky all over
By Icebreaker
Welcome to Red Eye...it's like Ticked Off Trannies With Knives if by "Trannies" you mean Bill Schulz

Brook Goldstein...she's so beautiful she makes me moist as a snack cake down there (and if by "there" you happen to mean my lap)

Alison Rosen...so beautiful she was once mistaken for The Promised Land when thousands of Jews and Egyptians tried to enter her
By DarkUrthe
Mark Lamont Hill he knows teaching america's young people, like I know kidnapping them

Alison Rosen so sharp that shamed yukuza use her to cut off thier pinky

Brook Goldstein, she is so hot that food is kept under her till it is ready to be served

Dr. Michael Baden he knows medicine like I venison. I loves me deer.
By azideam

I'd like to see "Big" Buck McQuillan of WSJ on Red Eye. He's even funnier than Bill.
By Remman
Alison Rosen, she's so sweet she gives jelly beans diabetes.

Mark Lamont Hill, he knows the student body like i know removing a body.

Dr. Michael Baden he sells me body bags at half price. it sure helps with the houseboy spring cleaning.

Brook Goldstein, she's so sexy when she enters the courtroom she makes the opposing counsel's bench rise.

Welcome to Red Eye it's like The Pursuit of Happ...
By azideam
Mark Lamont Hill; he's so astute, college kids address him with "Shrewd, What's up?".

Alison Rosen; she's so sweet, Log Cabin syrup is now called Alison Rosen Syrup.
By Remman
Welcome to Red Eye it's like The Pursuit of Happiness if by Happiness you mean loose women.
By azideam
Bill Schulz; puppies and kittens try to suckle him.
By TulsaTornado
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like 'How I Met Your Mother', if by 'Met', you mean 'dismembered'..

Alison Rosen, she's so sharp, she's not allowed near the condom aisle in drug stores..

MLH, if left wing ideals were tofu, I'd enjoy having him on meatless Thursdays..

Brook Goldstein, she's so hot, jalapeno peppers consider her a close relative..
By azideam
Brooke Goldstein; she knows Adjunct Fellows like I know disfunctional cellos. It's a new interrogation tool being developed by Dick Cheney.
By TulsaTornado
Bill Schulz, it's the beginning of his shedding season..
By azideam
Dr. Michael Baden; if autopsies were a chess game, I'd mate him every time.
By thatssorandom
Welcome to Red Eye! It's like "The Lost Weekend" if by "Weekend" you mean "Month and a Half"!
By thatssorandom
Bill Schulz! He's so disgusting, brussel sprouts won't eat him.
By thatssorandom
He frequently scrounges in teacher's lounges. Marc Lamont Hill! If quick wit were a freezer, I'd store my meat in him.
By thatssorandom
Alison Rosen! If cuteness were a funny bone, people would wince in pain when they bang her.
By thatssorandom
He's just a kook, but his words make me puke! Our NY Times correspondent, Pinch!
By thatssorandom
Bonus! TV's Andy Levy! If ombudsmanship were an elevator, I'd push his buttons until he went down.
By Chapper
IMDB has Michael Baden listed as the technical advisor for Weekend at Bernie's...Is this true?
By thatssorandom
Dr. Michael Baden! He knows the dead, like I know his bed. He works nights and it's cheaper than having my own place.
By Chapper
IMDB has Michael Baden listed as the technical advisor for Weekend at Bernie's...Is this true?
By Chapper
Welcome to REDEYE - It's like Throw Momma From The Train if by "Momma" you mean Keith Olberman.

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