9:06am on Friday the 6th of December
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Fresh from the DAILYGUT.COM


By Keith Olberman
Welcome to Red Eye. It's like Airplane, except that everyone's seen a grown man naked.

We have clearance, Clarence.
By AUTiger89
Jim Norton, if hilarity were a song by John Mellencamp, Jack and Diane would suck on his dog, outside the Tasty Freeze.
By AUTiger89

Jim Norton, if hilarity were a chili dog, Jack and Diane would suck on him, outside the Tasty Freeze.
By DarkUrthe
AUtiger: I think it was a chillidog, but that was awesome

By DarkUrthe
Courtney Friel she is so delightful that febreeze is now called fecourtney

Jim Norton is comedic genius were cymbals I would bang him in band class.

Marc Lamont Hill he knows blaming the man like I know being the man... right Bill?

Kyle Smith if something were a red eye out of LA, many tired business men would ride him and fall asleep.
By thatssorandom
Welcome to Red Eye! It's like March Madness if by "March" you mean "Houseboy".
By thatssorandom
Courtney Friel! She's so hot, wing joints now sell mild, medium, and Courtney Friel wings!
By thatssorandom
Jim Norton! If hilarity were raw hamburgers, I'd beat his meat before grilling him.
By thatssorandom
Marc Lamont Hill! He knows racial tension like I know handcuff suspension.
By tintinismybelgian
Jim Norton: He knows telling jokes like I know sneaking smokes--I have an addiction, people!
By thatssorandom
Bill Schulz! He dries his hands with road kill.
By valleysam
Welcome to Redeye - It\\\'s like Waiting For Godot. If by Godot, you mean male strippers.

Courtney Friel - She\\\'s so hot, heat-seeking missles are now called Courtney Friel seeking missles.

Kyle Smith - He knows movie reviews like I know Broadway show tunes.

By azideam
Marc Lamont Hill; he knows identity politics, like he knows chasing college chicks. That man is a scoundrel.
By thatssorandom
Our NY Times correspondent, Pinch! His readers think Hot Tub Time Machine is based on real events.
By thatssorandom
Kyle Smith! If film knowledge were family portraits, I'd nail him all over my house.
By azideam
Courtney Friel; she's so beautiful and talented, Janeane Garofalo secretly belongs to her fan club.

Jim Norton; if comedic genius were a Schwin bicycle, I'd ride his banana seat with my feet on his handlebars.
By Duck Of Death
Welcome to Red Eye. It's like "Finding Nemo" if by Nemo you mean the family I have tied up in my basement.

Jim Norton; If comedic genius was "Taps" soldiers would stand at attention while I blew him.

Bill Schulz; Fun Fact: He's a snail whisperer.

Pinch; And he's out of gas and has no class...
By azideam
He's the Miracle the my Whip, the Q to my tip, the cow to my chip...

Bill Schulz; he's available after the show for panhandling.
By azideam
Welcome to Red Eye... it's like The Days of Wine and Roses, if by "wine and roses" you mean "malt liquor and inebriation"
By tintinismybelgian
Bill Schulz: Even necrophiliacs are creeped out by him.
By valleysam
Bill Schulz - He's just been successfully potty trained.

Marc Lamont Hill - He's so sharp, jewelers use him to cut diamonds.

Jim Norton - If comic genius were a charity run, people would do him for small donations.
By TulsaTornado
Welcome to Red Eye, it's just like 'The New Adventures of Old Christine', if by 'Christine' you mean 'Trannies'..

Courtney Friel, she's so hot, she's not allowed to play curling since she melts the ice..

Jim Norton, he's funnier than a gender confused clown beating a pixie to death with the remains of a mummified smurf..

By TulsaTornado
MLH, he knows bleeding hearts like I know shopping carts...they're always fun to race, people..

Bill Schulz, the common cold is afraid to catch him..
By dustrider
Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Primary Colors", if by 'colors' you mean 'suspect'.

...and he's a partisan hack who likes to attack, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.
By Bad Poker Player
Courtney Friel - she's so adorable, ponies wish they had one of her.

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