10:35pm on Friday the 24th of January
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Fresh from the DAILYGUT.COM


By markca
Strange enough I had a conversation about this kind of topic this morning at work with 2 coworkers (no joke). Nobody can understand why women would keep black books of all of their manwhores, when it's customary for the man to keep one for all of his girls. We still haven't figured it out.
By PowWow
"What is this world coming to when you can't trust a hooker?"

I asked my unlicensed pharmacist this same query last night.

Sherrod Small, if comedic talent were a bowling lane, I'd wax him up and roll my balls up and down him.

Janice Dean, if good looks were a pinball machine, I'd bang her so hard I'd end up tilting her and getting thrown out of the arcade.

By jd nyc
...and Sherrod will ask "why it gotta be a BLACK book?"...

A) after Billibuster

B) during Billibuster

C) before Billibuster

D) as soon as Greg mentions hookers

E) no Billibuster tonight; replaced by Smallibuster ("Sherrod`s Shout: A Critical DIS-course")

Place your bets nowwwwwwwwwwwww

By markca
He knows comedy like I know bad breath.

If cuteness was sod, I'd lay her in my backyard.

Welcome to Red Eye.... the #1 show among people who don't watch the #2 show.

She knows intelligence like I know hemorrhoids.

If incisive commentary was a gong, I'd bang her to get everyone's attention.
By markca
Bill Schulz.....he think he's going for a walk.

Andy's cat toy of the night is the Professor Paw Paws Cat Training Video. A must for every cat owner to teach your cat basic things like stay, come, litterbox training, scratch on their scratching post and MORE! Doing this with your cat will make your cat the smartest cat around and the envy of every other cat on the block.
By PowWow
Mark,we crossed up. Your real story wasn't there when my, uh, fake(?) wasn't. yeah mine didn't really happen...

Bill Schulz, he's living an episode of Gilligan's Island in his head right now

Brooke Burns, she's so hot the mere sight of her causes people to suffer permanent blindness

By DarkUrthe
This is all playing out like the directors cut of Pretty Woman.

Janice Dean she knows courage like I know encourageability

Sherrod Smalls he is so funny that your elbow will feel odd by him staring at it.

Brooke Burns is so hot that butter must be kept 50 feet away from her.
By MissMac
He knows comedy like I know constipation.

Bill Schulz...he thinks he's riding a merry-go-round.
By monsteroftheandes
Maybe they keep the black book becuase they are stupid whores. I kid the whores.

Sherrod small, if comedy were an orgasm, I'd have him on a see-saw.

Janice Dean, if she were a new home build, I'd lay pipe inside her.

Bill Schulz, he just drank what I call nature's shamrock shake.

Brooke she knows beauty like I know breaking into animal shelters.

By MissMac
Brooke Burns...she's so hot, waitresses use oven mits to serve her up to me. "Be careful, this dish is very hot"
By PowWow
Call girl rings are the problem. Go see a pimp. That's what he's there for. No books. cash...So I've heard.

Redeye, it's the number one show among old people who think they're watching a young Larry King

Welcome to Red Eye, it's the #1 show among people who woke up to Pee.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's the #1 show among people with dead batteries in their remote.

Bill Shultz, he thinks he standing in for Janice Dean, in front of the green screen people.
Today's Fun Fact: Sherrod Small has been a guest on all top five RE's of all time.
By PowWow
TV's Andy Levy. I read that Andy once spent some time as a one man volunteer fire department in a very small town in the midwest somewhere. The story said he wielded a mighty hose and could put out a fire like nobody else for miles and miles. Until one fateful day there was suddenly a lot of calls for cats stuck in trees. I was wondering, what happened?
By spaceagent
Bill Schulz - he thinks he's in Beijing playing Chinese checkers.

Janice Dean - if weather forecasting prowess were a kiln, I'd fill her with wood.
The Best...so Far, good work people

Welcome to Red Eye, it's the #1 show among people who woke up to Pee.

Janice Dean, if good looks were a pinball machine, I'd bang her so hard I'd end up tilting her and getting thrown out of the arcade.

Sherrod Small, if comedic talent were a bowling lane, I'd wax him up and roll my balls up and down him.

Brooke Burns...she's so hot, waitresses ...
By Allen Smithee
"Call girl rings are the problem"

PowWow: I know what you mean!

Have you tried new Heavy Duty Scrubbing Bubbles?

btw, they're not just for bathtubs anymore
By PowWow
Smithee, you're a genius. That ring around the "collar" is horrible to get out.

I've been trying a homemade mix. Not working.

And I keep setting off the fire alarm.
By Upwardly Mobile
So Greg, are you saying we should read 'The Pit and the Pendulum'?

Red Eye; It's like good horror movie, but with less blood.
By Allen Smithee
Pow: yep, also sounds familiar..

ah, the good old days...yes, I dismember them well
By MissMac

speaking of Brooke Burns...check out Bill's awesome interview!!!
By dustrider
What I want to know is, this is 200-freakin'-8, why the hell are these women still using black books instead of joining the digital revolution? There's got to be some sort of program out there to meet their business needs (Microsoft Cathouse®?) that can do a better job of keeping up with the clientèle that's also wholly scrubbable from your hard drive when the law arrives.
By markca
dustrider: that's a good point. Don't they have blackberry's or PDA's?? Unless of course these are old women....
By PowWow
wouldn't pda's (public displays of affection) defeat the whole purpose of the discretion being sought?

I don't know what fruit has to do with it....

By PowWow
unless it's an orange and you're trying to time travel
By Mckenzie
My black book has over 500 names in it. Unfortunately, it's the same name 500 times.

Red Eye is like Fantasy Island with Greg as Tattoo. Da plane, shut up Bill, Da plane, Shut up Bill.

By Smitty
Thank God Andy was there!

Alyson Margolin, real winner there NOT, did she mention marijuana during every topic? I think so. Could her top be any lower?

By isom40
sorry to ombudsman you Smitty, but I think her name is spelled Allison Margolin. I thought she was interesting. To paraphrase Greg, she's as attractive as I am disgusting.

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