12:23pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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Fresh from the Us Weekly ripping off Parade, which I'm now ripping off


By saltydog
If that's what she says to herself every morning, she either has no perspective or is just plain dishonest.
By dustrider
Does she have an innie or an outie in that picture?
By Lamontyoubigdummy
Because of the pics at the top and bottom of the link below*, Ms. Alba can say anything she wants...anything.

*warning: may cause boner, heart palpitations, and a sudden urge to slap your girlfriend/ wife

By VilisConsilium
Never thought I'd say this, but I guess poor Jessica Alba saw those photos of Rachel Smith. Man, the world has lost its damn mind, if they booed Rachel Smith...they'd probably boo Jessica Alba, too...Armegeddon can't be far behind.
By VilisConsilium
Wait, I just realized we're being so stupid...post your requests for Rachel Smith and Jessica Alba to be guest panelists on Red Eye. It'll be like benevolent monarchy in action...
By Texas Bob
I typically wake up and notice that I have waaay too much forehead. And chest, nose, ear and back hair.

Looks like Jessica is yet another poor, deprived Hollywood victim. Poor baby. It must suck to be a millionaire, going nuts about what party to attend, which restaurant to go to, which car to be driven around in.

Shut your lovely pie hole Jessica and dance for me!!!
By VilisConsilium
Texas Bob, you may have a point, but at least Jessica Alba has the decency to dance for us in movies like "Sin City", without having her drunken, drugged out exploits forced upon us every day on the news like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.
By Texas Bob
Yup VilisConsilium, that's true. At least not yet, anyway.
By Cracajac
but if you go back year by year eventually the "sex symbols" will look weird or ugly depends on the person tho.
By natesnake
Yeah, I bearly muster enough energy to masterbate in my own feces while looking at her.

She's not that hot.
By OtisWild
^^ YOU CAN DOO IT!!!! ^^

And I'm sorry, but Lindsay Lohan still has that hot Irish redhead thing that is my kryptonite. I would commit war crimes for her. And on her.
By veganvamp
OtisWild..."And on her." I would venture a guess to say that, perhaps, a few have.
By natesnake
"^^ YOU CAN DOO IT!!!! ^^"

*slowly unbuckles pants and begins crapping in right hand...*
By DarkUrthe
In 10 years Jessica Alba will still probably look damn fine.

Paris Hilton and Lidsay Lohan... my guess is not so much...

Unless you like the ridden hard and put away wet look. (However past whoring may not be indicative of future results.)

By OtisWild
Paris Hilton looks like she was Botoxed in grade school, but unless LL meths out and gains like 80lbs, I\'d still hit it. With gusto.
By Capitalchick
THIS is what we get for telling skinny girls they have a "disorder" while building the "self-esteem" of human pigs to the point where they think it's okay to wear a thong in public. (I'm still traumatized from the beach last weekend...shudder...)
By greyracer

This woman is so full of beauty, what the hell is going on with us women now-adays??? I mean, I would kill for something like this, and I don't even think I'm that bad!!! I hate what is happening in society. When is it going to stop??

Alot of it has to deal with self-esteem issues. I'm glad I'm in my 40's and I don't have to deal with being "out there" anymore. How could ...
By Capitalchick
thank you greyracer! -- I couldn't agree more. If a women is overweight, god help her. And if she's thin and beautiful, what? She must have a sickness? I don't get it!

Women are MOST guilty of this. Notice Oprah describes thin women as "prepubescent" or "boyish"...yet we're supposed to "embrace" all body types? You can't win.

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