12:40pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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Fresh from the dailygut.com

REDEYE: IT'S LIKE ________ WITHOUT THE _________________

By Big Lord Fauntleroy
I love scorecards, so:

By Big Lord Fauntleroy
...or if you're trying to keep it more escoteric:

By wankette
...like Grey's Anatomy...without the locker room booty.
By DarkUrthe
...like Porky's ...without the Beaver Hunt.
By Nilbog
Its like a hangover without the hazy fun-filled memories of the night before.

Its like fighting with your wife/girlfriend without the makeup sex.

Its like going to work without the paycheck.

Its like inviting everyone to your party without the cool kids showing up.

Its like having (fill in your STD of choice) without the sex with a stripper.
By DarkUrthe
...like Top Gun... without Highway To The Danger Zone.
By DarkUrthe
...like drinking... without doing it for the effect

...like New Jersey... without the turnpike exits.

...like a new wave band ... without the "keytar."

...like a stripper... without the 6 foot limit.

By DarkUrthe
...like sending pictures of Fluffy McNutter ... without actually sending them.
By OtisWild
Like home cooking without the trichinosis

Like Sunday without the reacharound

Like America's Funniest Home Videos without the golfball in the nuts

Like Rachel Carson without the diseased African babies

Like a bar mitzvah without the shrimp cocktail

Like a black fly in your chardonnay

Like a delicious Veal Parm Sub without the death threats

(back to work :p)

By SuperAwesomeMichael
... it's like leprosy without the puss-filled lesions.

... it's like Countdown without the loud mouthed impotent former sportscaster.

... it's like CNN's American Morning without the backstabbing bitch and her robot sidekick.

... it's like The View but we still have our retarded lesbian, Bill. Then Bill says "you disgust me."

... it's like Hardball without the testicular canc...
By Frank J.
It's like Spider-Man 3 without all the crying.
By Frank J.
It's like Wal-Mart without all the ugly people.
By Jim Treacher
It's like American Idol, with even more gay panic.
By Lori_Z
It's like Greys Anatomy without the Va J. J.

Its like Ugly Betty without the Betty (sorry! teasing!)

Its like Jenna Jameson without the vaginoplasty

Its like Americas Next Top Model without the bulimia
By Lori_Z
Its like The Apprentice without the bad combover

Its like Tom Cruise without the closet

By John Tabin
It's like Fox & Friends, without friends

alternatively: It's like Fox & Friends, without Ross & Rachel

It's like a drunken one-night-stand, without the stranger in your bed the next morning

It's like The McLaughlin Group, without the intelligent political commentary... strike that, it's exactly like The McLaughlin Group

It's like The Big Story with John Gibson, without the donkey-p...
By Lamontyoubigdummy
It's like boobs w/out a bra (Greg's boobs?)

It's like Paris Hilton w/out Valtrex

It's like Quagmire w/out the "giggity"

It's like a turd w/out the corn
By Thummy
It's like the Battle of the Bulge without Leif Garrett.
By YankMyCheney
It's like the Daily Show without the jokes.
By dardar
It's like sleeping with your cousin... without the guilt.
By YankMyCheney
It's like a whore without a twat.
By YankMyCheney
It's like a dick without balls.
By YankMyCheney
It's like Rosie without the wit.
By YankMyCheney
It's like the Dennis Miller Show without Dennis.
By YankMyCheney
It's like the teletubbies without any straight characters.
By Nilbog
Its like the Starland Vocal Band without the afternoon delight.

Its like a snowstorm without the school closings.

Its like Knightrider without the car.

Its like the Miss Universe pagaent without the heckling and booing (no studio audience).

Its like a donkey without the punch.

Its like Special Report w/ Brit Hume without Brit Hume. And "special" is a euphemism for retarded.

By YankMyCheney
It's like 911 without a pack of Saudi's.
By YankMyCheney
It's like Greg without the midget's head.
It`s like Paul Zahn but without the excessive diarrhea...

It`s like World News Tonight but without the global scurvy...

It`s like Katie Couric but with my smaller genitalia...

By YankMyCheney
You know you want to. Go on, give it a YANK!
By YankMyCheney
It's like The Daily Gut without the stupid commenters (myself excluded obviously).
By YankMyCheney
It's like wee-Danny Boyles without that manly stench.
By R.E.O. Speedwagon
Its like Sesame Street without the muppets living in garbage cans!

By OtisWild
It's like a mini-mall without the fleas.


By DarkUrthe
...its like Match Game... without the contestants.

(I would have said polyester suits, but Bill keeps wearing that green screen colored sport coat)
By alastorx
It's like Judge Judy without the perm.

It like the Real World without the overindulgence of alcohol...until after the taping.

It's like the Beverly Hillbillies without the cement pond.

It's like Newhart without my other brother, Darryl.

It's like the Fugitive without the other arm either.
By Longshanks
It's like a Goblet, without the hair...
By Longshanks
It's like Rosie riding the bus, without her sister
By Sigmond
Redeye...It's like farting - it feels good but it still stinks..

Hopefully, we will see Megan Kelly make a guest appearance and whip Mr. Gutfeld senseless with a willow whip..
By RoommateCode

It's like Santa Carla, but without all the damn vampires.

It's like iTunes, but without any good music.

It's like cuddly wolf cub, but without all the rabies.

It's exactly like Catcher in the Rye, but totally different.

It's like a Saturday afternoon at Andrew Breitbart's house, but with more kids.
By Longshanks
It's like a humongous hog, without the bandana.
By Sigmond
It's like being at Scores, without any money.
By Sigmond
It's like going to work, without your pants.
By RoommateCode

It's like sniffing a Magic Marker, but without the Freddie Mercury mustache.

It's like your Aunt Mabel, but without all the scabs.

It's like an episode of The Jeffersons, but without all the dry cleaning shop talk.

It's like Al-Jazeera, but without the latent gay tendencies.

It's like Bill Schulz's office, but without all the dead orphans.
By RoommateCode

It's like a boiling hot cup of coffee... poured on your boss' crotch.

It's like a bomb manufacturing facility, but without all the free ice cream.

It's like Omega Man, but without the chariot race sequence.

It's like Rachel Marsden's computer, but without all the illegal Rush MP3s.
By Sigmond
Attention Moderator..

We have an out of control poster on this topic that is exceeding an appropriate number of entries in the contest, creating an unfair advantage. On top of that, the poster is violating the rules by using "but without" instead of just "without" as requested by Mr. Gutfeld.
By RoommateCode

It's like the DailyGut.com's comment section without the legalistic whining of lonely, humorless little men.
By JadedMofo
It's like Marky Mark, without the Funky Bunch.
By wilbur31
It's like Spiderman without the superpowers.

It's like Pirates of the Carribbean without all the make-up.

It's like Peter Pan without the tights.

It's like Star Wars without the force.

By RoommateCode
Not to knock anyone else's entires, but I genuflect before the comic majesty of OtisWild. Dude, those 8 of yours are gold!
By VilisConsilium
It's like a Lindsay Lohan car ride, without the airbags.
By Sigmond
VilisConsilium, I double genuflect before you. 5 stars on the Sigmondometer.
By dustrider
It's like basic cable without the Head-On commercials.

By jd nyc
It's like yogurt...without the culture
By VilisConsilium
It's like a Paris Hilton sex tape, without the night vision goggles.
By VilisConsilium
It’s like Barry Bonds, without the juice.

It’s like going to college, without the student loans.

It’s like Pam Anderson and Heather Locklear, without Tommy Lee.

It’s like Tuberculosis, without the plane ticket.

By VilisConsilium
Thanks! I appreciate being registered on the Sigmondometer.
By Blacklake
It's like a dog show, without the awkward accidents.

It's like going on a bender, but you don't have to worry about waking up with us in the morning.

It's like Oprah, without the gratuitous gunplay.

It's like the apocalypse, without those pesky angels.

It's like Bill's 8th grade English class, without the humiliating crush on Mrs. Stubermeier.
By Sigmond
Attention Moderator...

Another poster is pushing the entry limit. This is patently unfair. Goes to show you- give a fellow poster 5 stars and he gets carried away. In addition, too many entries to consider in the contest may overtax Mr. Gutfeld's brain, causing him jumble up the winning entry when on the tube.
By Mike B.
It's like Keynesian economics, without the Thunderdome.

It's like top-fuel drag-racing, without the ennui.

It's like San Fransisco, without the pride.

PS, it like Barry Bonds, without the collection of shoes and hats that are too small now.
By VilisConsilium
Sorry to offend, Sigmond, that wasn't my intention. Sort of got on a roll there, before I even realized that I'd gotten 5 stars. I think this thing comes in spurts, hence all the extraneous posting. You think of one, and it gets you thinking of others...don't be too upset with us. It's like a good party, everyone ends up getting carried away...there's a mess left over.
By Sigmond
Redeye is like a hole without a donut.

I hope to see Fox's Megan Kelly as a guest on Redeye challenging weatherwoman Janice Dean to a jello wresting match. This would make me feel better about everything.
By Sigmond
VilisConsilium.. May I call you Villy?

You are forgiven for pressing the limit. Just be careful with your spurts, however. This is cause for concern.
By Mike B.

It's like the of San Juan Capistrano's Mission Swallows, without the birds.

By Frank J.
It's like Daily Gut without the absurd comment protections.
By VilisConsilium
Sigmond Villy, huh? I kinda like that. A lot of the best funny posts are in the middle of spurts. I understand your concerns, but it works both ways. Nobody likes a tattletale. Hence the "Stop Snitching" movement. Another beer & a cig, and I realized that I don`t see any rules posted. This is the kind of lawlessness that I think Gut & crew would expect. They know what they`re doing.
By Longshanks
It's like Gwyneth Paltrow's kids, without the funny names.
By sarahk
It's like Fox News without the news.
By Mike B.
Redeye, it's like Lady Godiva, but without the horse.
By MsUnderestimated
It's like Welcome Back Kotter without the weird afros.. oh, wait, except for Bill. (Bill comeback: 'screw you, Greg')

...Gilligan's Island without the Little Buddy... oh, yeah wait... Bill again.

...Hardball with Chris Matthews but without the spittle.

...the Daily Kos without recess.

...COPS without crackheads fleeing with their pants down around their ankles.

By salvator m
it's like a harry potter movie without harry potter.

it's like sex addiction without the sex.

it's like rosie o'donnell without the tuna breath and massive pockets of cellulite.

it's like ben affleck without the hairpiece.
By MsUnderestimated
It's like Welcome Back Kotter without the weird afros.. oh, wait, except for Bill. (Bill comeback: 'screw you, Greg')

...Gilligan's Island without the Little Buddy... oh, yeah wait... Bill again.

...Hardball with Chris Matthews but without the spittle.

...the Daily Kos without recess.

...COPS without crackheads fleeing with their pants down around their ankles.

By MsUnderestimated
It's like America's Most Wanted without the "you can make a difference" belief

...like Family Feud without all the creepy kissing.

...like the Partridge Family without the red-headed step-child and weird bus.

...like Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader without the 5th graders to coach the guests.

...like an episode of 24 without protecting the show from complete annhilation. (sorry luv you...
By MsUnderestimated

...like an episode of 24 without JACK BAUER protecting the show from complete annhilation.
By Longshanks
It's like Bill, without the lesbian sportcoat.
By jd nyc
It's like Ted Rall without the delusion that anybody could ever possibly have any respect for him

scratch that - it's still NOTHING like Ted Rall
By skarmah515
It's like...

Frodo without his precious (or ring whichever i prefer precious though haha)

Bazooka without the comic strips

Bad date without booze.


It's like it's like without the it's like ;)

That's all i can think of you can also bash lindsay and "skinny b****" celebs but that's waaaay tooo easy... and could hurt feelings :(

By skarmah515
Btw do we really get a book? Is it free?!?!?! And do you actually know how to read/write... jk :)
By Borchy
It's like the West Wing without the egotism.
By Texas Bob
It`s like Greg`s Unspeakable Truths without DarkUrthe.

It`s like Gilligan without the Skipper.

It`s like laser surgery without corrected vision.

It`s like Culture Club without Boy George.

By natesnake
It`s like Super White Stuff without the salty after taste.

It`s like The Justice League without any super human powers.

It`s like The Fall Guy without Lee Majors.

It`s like TJ Hooker without William Shatner.

It`s like Kool-Aid without sugar.

It`s like the American Civil War without muskets.

It`s like Pro Wrestling without the vaguely homosexual overtones.

By natesnake
It`s like Enter the Dragon without the crappy dialogue.

It`s like a Donkey Show without the Donkey.

It`s like The Shawshank Redemption without the sodomy.

It`s like erectile disfunction without the awkward embarrassment.

It`s like a prostate exam without the benefit of Vaseline.

It`s like NASA without the ability to shoot monkeys into space.

It`s like a Turkish Bath House without the sauna

By natesnake
It`s like the Rat Pack without a token black man.

It`s like a gravy train without the biscuit wheels.

It`s like binge drinking without the hangover.

It`s like a Baliwood musical without the choreography.

It`s like a Star Trek convention without the costumes.

It`s like CNN without the intellectual dishonesty.

It`s like Keith Olberman`s show without the syphilitic brain wasting.

By natesnake
It`s like a full body message without the happy ending.

It`s like riding a moped without being seen by your friends.

It`s like throwing a dodge ball at the fat kid without the remorse.

It`s like NASCAR without the huge fan base.

It`s like The A-Team without B.A. Barackous

It`s like tuxedo fitting without the casual fondling.

It`s like Ultimate Fighting without physical contact.

By natesnake
It`s like phone sex without the role playing.

It`s like listening to Wham without singing along.

By OtisWild
Much Obliged...

It's like getting blown by Phyllis Diller without the Poly-Grip

It's like Ironforge without the dancing naked elves

It's like Highlander 2 without the suck

Now I really gotta get back to work :p
By Cuneos
It's like a recurring dream without an alarm clock to wake you up.
It's like Nancy Grace, but without the mexican mustache...hmm...

It's like Peter Jennings, but without the unibrow...hmm...

It's like Battlestar Galactica, but without the plotholes...ok maybe with the plotholes...hmm...
By Blacklake
It's like a pirate ship, without all the timber-shivering.

It's like "Fantasy Island" without...well, come to think of it, it's exactly like "Fantasy Island"!
By Longshanks
It's like Costco, without the receipt.

It's like Bob and Doug McKenzie, without the back bacon.

It's like Red Green, without the suspenders.

It's like commenting, without doing your job.
By OtisWild
It's like spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam without the baked beans.
By jd nyc
with an extra serving of albatross
By Longshanks
It's like the Spanish Inquisition, without expecting it.
By OtisWild
jd: what flavor is it?
By DarkUrthe
longshanks, nobody expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!
By DarkUrthe
Did Greg actually use any of these?
By Longshanks
"Nobody expects the Spa...oh, bugger!"
By jd nyc
Otis - it depends on the purveyor

could be as salty as the neck of an aging sailor while other days it's more Coleridge-y

although Vikings always say it tastes like chicken

and.....OH, NO! Not the rack!!
By OtisWild
Does it come with wafers?
By Jim Treacher
Great job, everybody.