9:19pm on Tuesday the 23rd of July
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Fresh from the The Sun

I'M PRETTY (SKEPTICAL)

 
By ilikevanilla
when I got engaged, I grilled my husband's family about their health history in a psychotic way, Mengale style. And contemplated breaking up with him after I found out some of the various cancers and heart disease. Years later, I am the one who was diagnosed with a disease, he is healthy as a horse!
By ilikevanilla
thank god we are both good looking.
By sawbuck
I would like to be the first here at TDG to offer my 'services' for gene pool repair and betterment. According to the top scientists in this field, I exist for the improvement of our species as a whole.
By sawbuck
Treacher, you'll be hearing from my attorneys about unauthorized use of my photograph on this thread.
By Sigmond
My missus (Mrs. Sigmond, that is) fell in love with me when she discovered the carpet-like hair on my back. She confided to me that it reminded her of her father, who was always wearing a sweater.
By JenJen
Who exactly did they solicit for this survey-females from uglypeople.com?



It`s been proven over and over again good looking people have an edge in success, love and politics. Try watching the competition's special on the "Power of Being Beautiful." I call bullshit on this survey. Line up a good plastic surgeon now!

By DarkUrthe
Frankly this is why we American men shoudl mail order brides from SE Asia. We honestly (unless you are spectacularly fuggly) look the same to them.... and the flip side for them is we will treat them much better.
By DarkUrthe
JenJen, two words: Bill Gates.



Two more words: Donald Trump.



Two more: Larry Ellison.



Okay sure they are billionaires, but it goes to show that looks ain;t everything...
By DarkUrthe
It is ironic that Tom Cruise gets the hot chicks... even rich gay guys get (hypothetically) more trim than I ever did...
By Lori_Z
Yeah, I think the survey is bogus. Must have been done by the same people who claim women don't believe size matters.



By wankette
Who knew newspapers had May sweeps?

Yet another "Musta been a slow news day" piece, from the "Who gives a rat's ass?" editor.
By Nilbog
"it goes to show that looks ain't everything"



Sure. Ugly guys can overcome their handicap by simply having one BILLION dollars.



And here I'd gone and given up hope.



I have been stocking up on the one thing that does make sex a possibility for 90% of the population: wine.
By Nilbog
Lori,

What about the motion of the ocean?! Is it all lies?
By JenJen
Dark--I should have added "with the exception of billionaires" to my response. You forgot Hugh Heffner. I don`t suppose all those gorgeous woman hover over him and profess to want to have his children because he packs a big one! We know its not his good looks!
By Lori_Z
Nilbog,



Lies. A terrible, cruel lie. Another secret..your wife's sister and best friends know everything about your junk.





By VilisConsilium
I don't know about girls who are that good looking like in the photos, but it's possible. The problem is those long dry spells inbetween.
By Mike B.
Men and women, at all times and in all places, deserve each other.
By Texas Bob
JenJen, I really don't like you. Whether you're ugly or not makes no difference. See, looks aren`t everything!



The beauty bit only goes so far. Gets you in the door, but if you can't perform you'll be quickly marginalized. Exactly who are these successful, lovebird politicians you speak of? Nancy Pelosi? Hillary? Gore?





By Nilbog
Lori,

Typical of a woman to rub salt into my wounds. Not only do you debunk the lies on which my sexual self esteem (yeah, right) is built, but you remind me that having no wife or even girlfriend, the only people who may know about my junk stopped taking my calls years ago.



Luckily, I'm hung like a horse ... as far as any of you know.
By natesnake
"don't believe size matters"



When it regards the tongue, that is be a true statement.



My other nickname is the "ant-eater".
By Shannan
Sigmund - The question is... does Mrs. Sigmund vacuum it or simply razor it when it starts to pill up.
By Shannan
Darkurthe - women may want to MARRY a rich guy (like the ones you named), but they are rarely thinking "yum, how am I gonna get that guy into the sack???". Now that does not hold true for a good personality. Funny with a great self assurance may trump amazing hotness. Long and short term.
By DarkUrthe
JenJen, money helps... a lot. But I guess it says more that beauty can be bought or rented... but I am of the opinion money pretty much trumps any problem.
By DarkUrthe
Shannan, money is the ultimate aphrodisiac.



It, however, is not the only one. Confindence, personality, humor and all that are good too.



But I tell you what you will get more with a million dollars and a smile than you will with a smile.
By Shannan
Apparently some women believe some men are attracted only to... beauty... cough.



I hope this strange beast gets to live out her creepy wish:



www.nypost.com/seven/05242007/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm



Ew. She is a girl with a dream!
By Shannan
Darkurthe - Yep. That is true. For men too. Never heard someone say "I only want someone who is a total and utter failure"... well except my sister. That is for another day though.
By Nilbog
Shannan,

Is your sister seeing anyone? I'm definitely in the market for a passably attractive woman with sufficiently low self esteem. And I own my own house and car even!
By Capitalchick
call me a snob, but I think having TEETH of some sort is an important quality in a man.
By natesnake
"call me a snob, but I think having TEETH of some sort is an important quality in a man."



Could you please specify the minimum quantity of teeth?



*crosses fingers*
By DarkUrthe
Shannan, that must be a genetic disorder in ANS' family... She is alright for soccer mom material... but Playboy? Only if the implants block her entire body...



Oh I used to go for the "fix her up" projects in my younger days... or the she is cute and might not be a complete failure all her life... I since corrected that meme and realized there were loads of better women...
By Nilbog
Capitalchick,

Do Summer Teeth count? (Some'r here, some'r there) I've got a head full of chipped yellow choppers - is that sexy or what?
By Shannan
Nilbog - if you can manage to drop your insurance and crash your car and blame the other guy then get so pissed drunk over it that you fall asleep with a cig in your hand and burn down your house, you MAY (I cannot stress the MAY part enough) be my sister's type. And she is cute. I cannot figure it out.
By Shannan
Darkurthe - I found it interesting that she called her a trainwreck yet seems bafflingly desperate to be her. The only thing to do with these types of people is assume they are rabid and take them to the woodshed with your rifle and a bottle of Beam.
By Nilbog
Shannan,

Hmmmm let me think it over... Can I keep my dog at least?



Or how about you set us up and I pick her up drunk and wreck the car on the way to the restaurant (Arby's of course) and throw a punch at the cop while he tries to cuff me DWI and fleeing the scene of an accident. Think that would give me a chance?



You did say she's cute.
By Nilbog
Darky,

So I guess its official now? "Meme" is the new "paradigm."
By DarkUrthe
NillyVanilly, a paradigm is like twenty cents... hardly seems worth the effort.
By DarkUrthe
Shannan,



I guess you can take the girl out of the trailer park but not the trailer park out of the girl.



ANS' sister just seems like an amatuer media whore as compared to ANS who had it down pat.
By JenJen
Texas Bob -- Guess what? I don't like you either. I suggest you read the topic being discussed before lashing out at me and that was what attracts you FIRST to a person. I still maintain its looks. I'm going to go a lot LOWER than the percentage stated. Roll the dice. Of course looks can only take you so far, but coupled with a little side action and you can fast forward pretty nicely.
By JenJen
And Bob if we were arguing this topic on THE VIEW I know I would have the sympathy and backing of the American public. Why? Because I`m beautiful!
By Shannan
Natesnack and Nilbog - Teeth count because they keep the tongue from slipping wildly out of the mouth (and not in the attractive way)... that and popping the cap off the beer bottles (if you really want to impress a lady).



Nilbog - unluckily there is no shortage of men fitting my description. You will have to queue up like the rest.
By Shannan
DarkUrthe - Well, ANS DID hook up w/ HKS. His ugliness is surpassed only by his creepy, pervert, hanger on, sleazeballness. Of course those are his fine points. I won't get into the seedier elements of HKS. I wonder if ANS was horny for HJM. He was loaded. Hmmmmm. And again... ew.
By Texas Bob
JenJen, beautiful as you may be (or at least think you are), that means next to nothing if you've a poor personality and shallow character.



As for the rest of your rebuttal, perhaps you should re-read your own comment. That's what I was addressing. But why pick nits? Most everything you write is ditzy. I really could see you on the View. Nice choice.
By Shannan
I wonder if the same holds true for gay folks... It obviously was true for Rosie's woman. I am guessing it was not for her personality either. Hmmm... what could it be?



I digress. Really though, is it the same for gay people?
By JenJen
Tex--Are you frustrated, ugly or both? Perhaps your hand insulted you again when it fell asleep while you were trying to pleasure yourself. Not to fret. There's help. Call 1-800-ENZYTE.
By Allen Smithee
did everybody fasten their seatbelts?
By DarkUrthe
it may be a bumpy one



By Jim Treacher
Cut it out.
By JenJen
Yes dear! I apologize for allowing myself to sink to an even lower level than that of my opponent.
By Jim Treacher
Botha yez.
By lizard boy
I keep calling that 800 number but they're asking for another digit.
By Texas Bob
Exactly what level do you think I've sunk to? Seriously JenJen, I hope you ARE beautiful because the "thinking thingy" doesn't look very promising for you. Just smile a lot, and try not to talk.
 
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