4:37am on Friday the 19th of July
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Fresh from the FOXNEWS.COM

BEDBUGS ARE BACK....AND BETTER THAN EVER!

 
By dustrider
It was nice to see just before my trip to New York last year that the hotel I was staying in was part of a Dateline NBC investigation into hotel bedbug infestations. Had me looking for the telltale signs of bedbug poop behind the headboard or under the mattress when I arrived (which is better than finding Dateline NBC's Chris Hansen behind your headboard or under your mattress when you arrive).
By Nilbog
"I've got to apply ointment to these bed bugs."



Is that part of some massage (full release?) for the bugs? Do you hope to get on their good side with some sort of entymological sensual therapy? Or does the money from bed bug ointment applicator gig help pay the rent - but not the exterminator.
By DarkUrthe
I had to help someone with an emergency move... she was not the most hygienic of gals and in the process of moving her bed...



Well lets just say several showers later I was creeped out.
By calgrammy
One of the fond memories of my childhood is running behind the "skeeter" truck with all the wonderful DDT fumes. I'm still here and living. No strange extra appendages, that I notice.
By Nilbog
Darky,

Unhygenic, you say? Emergency move? Is she spoken for? Is she a fatty? Can you set us up?
By DarkUrthe
Nilly, she was a catch lemme tell you. Fatty, unclean, messy and married to an even more disgusting gay guy. And that was 10 years ago... I am sure she is much hotter now so long as you keep the same criteria...



That object lesson was the last time I even dropped what I was doign to help someone I sort know move...

By Right...
Stayed in a Ramada Inn Suites along the Briley Parkway in Nashville, TN for a couple of nights last August. A week later I had leasions all over my arms and legs. Went to the doctor and he said bed bug bites. Called them and they said sorry, bye!

By natesnake
Is "bed bug" slang for crabs? 'Cause let me tell you, I dip my junk in Agent Orange every morning.



You know how I know it works? It tingles.
By calgrammy
Bedbug is insect that leaves an icky substance which causes the rash and itch, "craps" are body lice, in the hair you call them hair lice, one of them is a louse. Differant buggers, am a retired R.N, tried to make it simple and best as I remember. Both are difficult to get rid of, pretty much have to treat your home and family, sorry probably more info then you want.
By sawbuck
Calgrammy, what you were smelling was diesel fuel. DDT was mixed with it, then sprayed out of a high-pressure fogging nozzle that left a pungent mist in the air (I inhaled barrelfuls of it growing up in the south). Because the diesel mist floated on water, it made for the perfect medium to deliver the DDT on/near stagnant water, the breeding ground for skeeters.
By sawbuck
But the 'concerned-do-gooder-friends-of-the-earth' (Rachel Carson, et al.) saw this as a apocalyptic tragedy that had to be reversed. Now malaria has been making a steady comeback for years.



Just like the old joke says: Who is responsible for more deaths? A.Hitler B.Stalin C.Mao D.Rachel Carson

The answer will surprise you.
By Shannan
Bedbug epidemic caused by travelers bringing them over from France. No joke.



Also, a good way to tell if you have them is to turn off the bedroom light, wait and then flip it back on and take a look at the bedsheets. Brown spots? Red welts on you? Ut Oh.
By conehead
Geez. First AIDS and now bedbugs. Vive la France.
By DarkUrthe
France has teams of scientists workign aroudn the clock finding new ways to screw America. Global warming theories, check. Americans are hella fat, check. Bed bugs, check. The list goes goes.
By lizard boy
How do you know they're French bedbugs?

They eat runny cheese, they wear tiny berets, and there's a good reason they don't call them bathbugs.
By Shannan
Banning DDT did not do much to help the malaria situation either. Of course if malaria were killing millions and millions of dogs or white rice rats each year you can bet they would be demanding the government work in overdrive to produce DDT.
By Capitalchick
A MILLION people die from malaria every year (90% of them in Africa), thanks to the ban on DDT. How's that for senseless and depressing? Now I have to let a dog sniff my bed at the Hyatt? Gross. Hippies suck.
 
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