9:10pm on Tuesday the 23rd of July
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Fresh from the Newsweek

SCREECH! TORTURE! SCREEEEEEECH!! (JUST GETTING THE JUMP ON NEWS HOUNDS)

 
By Nilbog
A few other ways TV varies from reality: Not all judges are black women. Not all criminals are white, middle-aged businessmen. People's houses, apartments, rooms and places of business ususally have 4 walls, not the 3 seen on TV. When you tell a lame joke in the real world there is no disembodied laughter to make it seem as though it might have been funny.
By OtisWild
Also, on TV, not all terrorists are muslims.
By stinky
The bionics necessary to 'fix' the Six Million Dollar man would have cost over $7 million even in the '70s.
By stinky
The Flying Nun was total BS. Only midgets are light enough to fly by wearing a nun's habit.
By JackReacher
I find it incredibly funny that it's now the liberal cowards that are whining about violence on TV. Remember when they poo-pooed the conservatives, Christians and others concerned over the escalating violence on TV? Now, (that it suits their hypocritical asses), they whine like a boat load of fucking old women.



Is there 1 ounce of credible thought in a liberals head?
By JackReacher
Oh, and stinky, YES, the flying nun could fly ... she was using a device called the labial lift flaps. That's why there was never a series called the flying priest.
By Dan Collins
You bastard! Now look what you've done!



I can`t quite tell if you are being ‘tongue and cheek` in this post, Mr Collins. Treacher does excellent work wherever he is, and can go wherever he wants, yet you appear to be acting like he left the priesthood, tore off his vestments, and went to work as a DJ in a strip club.



Tsk.



Posted by Bane | permalink

on 02/28 at 02:24 PM

By Dr. Phat Tony
So, those women on the View are only pretending to be morons?
By BoscoH
Just because all the women on Red Eye are hot, doesn't mean that all women in reality are hot.
By BoscoH
If you're ever stuck in the wild, there is no "safe team" to help you in an emergency or camera to record what you're doing, like on Man vs. Wild.



It's impossible to buy a house, improve it drastically in 8-10 weeks, put it on the market, and pocket $100K for the exercise like on Flip that House.



Finally, meteoroligists don't all have weather related names like Dallas Raines and Johnny Mount...
By matt m.
So "24" is this bad, bad show that's hurting our troops. I should give a fuck, why? *sad violin music*
By matt m.
By the way if anyone TIVO'd monday's episode, there was a scene when Chloe thought her boyfriend was drinking in the bathroom, and she busted in on him. He had been sitting on the toilet taking a shit, and when she opened the stall he jumped up and pulled up his pants without wiping his ass! Awesome!
By politicz
Man, I think John Kerry was right. If these troops are stupid enough to torture people because they saw it on 24, then they deserve to be stuck in Iraq.
By matt m.
politicz-



What do you hate the most about America? Is it the freedom? You do know that John Kerry faked his medals and shot an unarmed pregnant child-rape victim in the back in Vietnam, right? Yet you still love this guy. You libtard, so typical of the secular far-left. Freedom isn't Free!!!
By Jim Treacher
LOLZ
By politicz
Hahaha, matt m., you're one of the good ones. Keep up the good work and I hope the undercover work as a far-right "patriot" doesn't corrupt your strong, liberal values (heh, oxymoron, amirite guyz?)
By SimianWarhead
If you want to learn how to torture people watch Tyra...I mean make you prisoners watch Tyra.
By matt m.
politicz-



Ex-liberal, guy. Get it right. I swear, if you write one more comment to me I will shit directly into my hand and throw it at the section of my screen with your post on it. You need to find Jesus real quick, and ask forgiveness for your gay ideas and hatred of the United States. YOU FAGGOT LIBERAL!!!!
By Mike B.
What's all this about torturing Screech?
By BoscoH
Red Eye or not, here we blog... Like American Idol without the medicated has-been. Nice Fox on Fox violence there Greg. Rachel, Bill, CIA Mike, and green dressed Dem chick. Prof at Kent State rooting for wrong team. Mike, it's just the 18th epi. Who is gonna suggest sending in the National Guard? Jane thinks it's odd, right wing blog (things Greg reads) hoax. Jane implies Red Eye not cred source.
By hackoff
screech hates your freedoms!



By BoscoH
Not to jump all over Jane... Bill in a tie?!? Pakistan denies. CIA Mullet Mike. Explains balance of Musharaf. Jane against carpet bombing. Rachel catches Jane in something. Castro calling into radio program. "Hello President" with Hugo Chavez. Comical but serious. Rachel asks Mike about racquetball. Chavez and Castro sooo passée. Break. Captain Stubing's b-day. Emily has an open wound on left arm.
By BoscoH
John Travolta says Scientology could have killed ANS. Someone ask Emily to spell pneumonia. Greg has ANS upstairs. ANS decomposing. Why do Scientologists get fat? Think of Greta guys... Artwork. Looks like Putin in a diaper. No, it's L Ron Hubbard super baby. Break. Bono met with Rudy. Bono bipartisan. He goes both ways. Like Santa for politicians - sit on his lap. Jane likes mutual ass kissing.
By BoscoH
Greg wishes Bono died when he was 30. DiFi and Governator are fuckwads. That's the word you were looking for Greg, not lying sacks of poo. CIA Mike suggests it's a new fuel source. Jane defends carbon credits. Greg feels left uses GW to avoid terrorism. Jane is a good sport. Break. One commercial starts... "So, you're having trouble sleeping". Ouch. Greg loves Mike Baker. Halftime report.
By BoscoH
Rachel for name dropping Noam. Jumping all over Jane. Where's bin Ladin bin Hiding. Mike Baker as Capt America. Carbon offset graphics. Great stuff, please post here! Bye Andy. Woman traded baby in on a used car. Emily knows her cars. Ford Intrepid. Jane (rep of Dems and Libs) against this. Hottie heist. Rachel hacks, not robs banks. "Billmily". Koala Bears becoming lesbos... Some wearing flannel.
By BoscoH
"Strategic licking". Hey Greg, a koala bears eats bush and leaves. Break. Embrace the wrinkles. Lose your wrinkles, lose your humanity. Closeup of Emily's arm wounds. Paris may go to jail. "Speeded" -- someone ask Emily to spell pneumonia. Reese talks way out of ticket. She was morbidly obese before the breakup. Madonna telling 10 y/o child to dress less provocative. Too much crack.
By BoscoH
HOLY SHIT! Emily just bitch slapped Rachel P. Keaton! Break. Greg's watching Shep. Greg's mom, stock analyst. Slow upstairs, but we're not gonna flop out. She's very diversified, embarrassed to be wealthy. Why she love bridge, but plays with cheap rich people. Break. Marc Greco like the show. Jonathan likes the hotties. Rick does too. John Edwards -- screw you. Hansens like the show.
By BoscoH
Tomorrow's stories today... Julia has best set of journalistic integrity he's ever seen. CNN causes sensor, Bono direct decendant of Jesus. Young MC, not Ton Loc. Will make someone pay for what they've done. We're all done!
By berkut
its to bad one of the concrete bombs or worthless sensors LBJ had dad drop didn't accidentally land on Kerrys head and it would have been in Kodak color.63,67&71 F-4
By berkut
CNNs Peter Bergens xCIA buddy claims when the Talaban controlled Afganastan they had a ban on suicide bombings, but

Akhmed Shaw Masood was blown up by two of BinLadens boys posing

as journalists with a camera bomb before 9,11 on this day in CNNs revisionist history.
By berkut
from Northwest Florida Daily News,Fort Walton Beach,Fla. Airman Devery Taylor"God has made me who i am"(final statement)to spend decades in jail.38-year old Eglin hospital administrator sentenced to 50years in prison for raping, druging and sodomizing six men, two counts of kidnaping, 1count of unlawful entry.
By berkut
based on testamony from victims,recounting meating him at bars,passing out after Taylor gave them drinks laced with GBH and finding themselves in Taylors home subjects of nonconsentual sodomy."It was a question of dicrediting the testamony of these six individuals,and i thought we did" lead defence lawyer Martin Regan claiming Taylor was the victim of assult from the witnesses.
By JeffWoehrle
NO WAY that stuff on 24 is fake. If it was, my favorite news anchor, Jon Stewart, would have done a report on it by now.



Sheesh! You guys need to watch some news.
By JackReacher
"A 23-year-old female school teacher was arrested Wednesday, accused of having sex with five boys, authorities said. Some of the 14- and 15-year-old VICTIMS were students at the school where Allenna Williams Ward taught, Clinton Public Safety Director John Thomas said.



Investigators said there could be more VICTIMS."



VICTIMS??? When I was in school, they were called "lucky bastards."

By Ned Flanders
Newsweek is losing reader-diddily-ship as fast as the NYTimes -- of course they would run with a story like this lil'o piece of skidaddle!



They aren't called the L-M-S-M-dilly for nothing . . . that's Liberal Main-dilly Strean Media!
By OtisWild
Freedom isn't free. It's $1.05.



Which is, coincidentally, the price of a 20oz bottle of diet coke in my office vending machine.



(BTW, Rachel, that's 591.5ml.)



(and, Zee Germans are in fact good for something: www.saxongifts.com/PhotoDetails.asp?ShowDESC=N&ProductCode=HB-1l-Mug)
By ClydeS
JackReacher, I'll bet that Gennifer Flowers, Juanita Broaddrick, et. al., wish that THEY could have had a "Clinton Public Safety Director" to control SOMEONE'S "John Thomas"!
By berkut
5 of 6 victims were US military also, first defense accused them of assulting the defendant then claimed they were hiding that they were gay and afraid of being tossed for being gay (no evidence introduced) then defence claimed gay witchhunt and finally defendant admitted he did it, Libs whine about torture but want more gays in the military?ACLU looses again
By berkut
Germany going to moon,European Space Agency plans trip to TiTan(Saturn) Nancy Pelosi demands investigation into torture camps on moon and Titan demands constitutional rights for aliens.just got DSL end of last year now slower than dialup.its a 3rd world country down here.
By RoommateCode
TV *greatly* varies from reality. For example in reality, a non-telegenic guy with a bad haircut and no discernable comedic timing that was belittled anything Rachel Marsden said could not have a job as a permanent panelist on a late night cable TV talk show.

O TeeVee is teh gr8 majics!
By Jim Treacher
I kind of like Gutfeld's haircut...
By JackReacher
yup, me too. He's now "manly man" A goatee would look nice too.



(wtf am I saying???)
 
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