12:20pm on Wednesday the 23rd of October
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Fresh from the UPI.COM

30 PERCENT OF SANTAS PEED ON

 
By John Dough
"Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas"?



That organization can't be real. I simply refuse to believe it.
By Bosco
Also from the survey... 35% of kids who visited real bearded Santas claimed that Santa had something in the middle of his lap.
By gg
that organization is real. I did a story on it about ten years ago. i enrolled in santa school for a segment on good morning america, and met all these "real" santas. They have authentic beards - and they're usually bikers. Nice guys, but a little scary
By Frosty Beverage
Children and seasonally-employed bikers: What could POSSIBLY go wrong with that match made in heaven?
By death valley
Since the Mexican Mafia has taken the "speed" industry from the one-percenters and the denizens of America's Chinatowns have been so successful at cornering the illegal weapons market the Hell's Angels need to diversify... 'sides, 'ya start puttin' on the pounds when the meth drys up... perfect job on their part of reinventing themselves.



And golden showers from little girls... perfect.
By G. Scott
"Hey Johnny, You wanna see Santa's new tattoo?"
 
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